The Vice Guide to Gore Movies

When I was down in Switzerland for an interview with HR Giger that lasted about as long as I would in the ring with Nikolai Valuev, I met this girl called Claudia. Then I interviewed her.

claud



Claudia Rindler probably isn’t how you imagined most Swiss girls to be. She hates sunshine, she hates Christians and she has a tattoo of Klaus Kinski’s face smiling up at her from her right arm.  When Claudia pops down to the shops for her milk and cheese of a morning she takes her purple hearse that stinks of weed and sounds like thrash metal.

Claudia is a make-up artist and film director and goes under the alias, Dr. Rotten. She recently released a DVD called The Rotten Box, which has nothing to do with the time Chlamydia threatened to eat a hole through her lap, but a selection of the finest gore to come out of the Alps.

If you’re a young male out there and think that Claudia’s wry wit, fine perversions and ability with a knife make her great marriage material, we regret to inform you that you’re too late. She got married on June, 06, 2006, to the devil himself!

In porn, the storyline is a bonus but the cumshot is essential. How important is a good story in a gore movie?

It’s important but a good story is always difficult to find. If you want to make something funny, some alcohol can help. But if you are looking for something serious, it s good to have a friend who is good at writing, is a little bit twisted like you and is happy to work for beer or sexual favours.

And while we’re on the subject, is it wise to mix porn with gore?

Well you don’t really want to mix any porn, but sex yes.  Sex and horror go perfectly together. There is also an unwritten law about shooting gore movies, that everyone who has sex in the movie has to die. Tough, isn’t it?

Good looking actors covered with guts and blood always look sexy though .

How do you look sexy when you’re dead?

By being prepared. No matter what you do you’ve got to always make sure your rocking a good look. It doesn’t matter that you’ve been out partying till 5am and fallen into a couple of bushes on the way home, you never know when death comes knocking at your door, so style your hair, use some make-up and always smile.

What makes for a good gore movie actor?

When it comes to choosing actors there are a couple of simple tests to determine whether they’re going to make the cut in a gore movie. If it’s a man give him a gun or a knife and ask him to turn on his best maniac face. If it’s a girl ditch the weapons, but get her to scream as loud as she can. Then, and this is probably the most important test, ask them if they’ll work for free. If the answers ‘yes’, hire ‘em on the spot.

How would you couch an actor for a scene where they have to be eaten alive for example?

1. Just before you start shooting whisper into their ear, ‘sorry it’s hard for me to say, but I lost all the money for the movie on a round of poker last night last so we can’t pay you. Are you spotting a theme yet? Gore movies don’t exactly come with fat budgets.

2. Then give them lots and lots of alcohol.

3. If neither of those things work, I ask my bulldogs for help.

If you’re going to make a gore movie, how to you go about choosing a location?

Oh I like the Scottish landscape, ruins and so on. I love these old Edgar Wallace movies with the castles. Here in Switzerland it’s not so easy to find a nice location. I think some parts of Germany in the east are cool too, because of the “ghost towns” full of empty houses and buildings they have there.

If you want to make gore movies, would you advise spending your time hanging out in accident and emergency or at black spots on motorways as research?

I have a good friend, he is doctor of forensics. He sends me pictures from real cases every so often. This inspires me a lot.  I read lots of books about serial killers, that’s good inspiration too I think. It might be dangerous to hang out on a motorway.

How do you introduce gore to children?

Explain to them that it’s all fake and they’ll love it. I’ve worked many times with kids and it was always cool and always funny. A mother once told me that she couldn’t watch horror movies with her son anymore since we’d done a shoot. He was always shouting, ‘booooring! I know how they do this effect. I can see the tubes where the blood comes out,’ and so on. It ruined a healthy mother/son horror relationship.

And then, what’s the best way to kill children?

Well, I’m obsessed with jars. I think they look always cool in movies, photos or just as a decoration, that’s why I’d say it doesn’t really matter how you kill the little fuckers, so long as when you’re finished you put them in a jar.

What’s a good recipe for blood?

Go to the garden at midnight and pick some raspberries.

Cook them with a little sugar during a full moon.

Add two rotten frog legs and a cow’s eye.

Then mix them all together, dance three times around the pot and say: ‘turn to blood, turn to blood, turn to blood.’  You’ll get some nice, lovely blood… or something red and nasty at least.

Who do you think had the inspirational death of them all?

Klaus Kinski of course. He died several times in different movies and he was always great. My favourite death of his is in Nosferatu.  If you’re talking about special effects then it has to be Tom Savini in Maniac. He shoots himself with a gun to the head, and it explodes with lots and lots of blood. Hell yes!

Can you go too far?

When I hear an ambulance at the set I suppose. No, I think there is no too far when you do a movie. Especialy when you do special effects. As long as no one gets hurt and everybody has fun, it’s all fine.

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